March 17
Slaying the Phantom (Part Two) Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Barbara sat down one day and described her phantom-what she felt she was expected to be as a wife and mother. Here is a portion of what she wrote:She is always loving, patient, understanding and kind.She is well organized, with a perfect balance between being disciplined and flexible.Her house is always neat and well decorated, and her children obey the first time, every time.She is serious yet lighthearted, submissive but not passive. She is energetic and never tired.She looks fresh and attractive at all times, whether in jeans and a sweater digging in the garden or in a silk dress and heels going to dinner.She never gets sick, lonely or discouraged.She walks with God daily, prays regularly, studies the Bible diligently, and is not fearful or inhibited about telling others about her faith.She "prays without ceasing." She prays over flat tires, lost keys and lost teddy bears. She "gives thanks" when her husband is late for dinner. Remember that phantoms are illusions. Only we don't recognize them as such.
Again, having such goals may spur you to doing better and being better. But when they become illusory expectations, you become insecure and wonder if your mate accepts "the real you." You may feel like a loser when your mate may actually consider you a winner.
Prayer: Close your time together by praying that God will enable you and your spouse to balance contentment with a desire to grow and change.
Discuss: Sit down and write out your personal version of the "phantom." (You'll share your phantom with your spouse in the next session.)
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