One question I often ask men at our FamilyLife Marriage Conferences is: Do your wives have access to your lives? Feminist theologians use this passage from Ephesians to oppose the concept of sex-based roles in marriages. If you read it in the context of the remainder of Ephesians 5, however, I think you will see that, while God wants the husband to be the sacrificial leader in the home, He also calls husband and wife to be accountable to one another. Husbands and wives are to be partners.
Barbara and I try to help each other make good decisions by monitoring each other's schedule and workload. Making good decisions in this area simply means saying yes to some things and no to others. We also talk over our children's activities because of their effect on the whole family. Monitoring everyone's schedule helps our family avoid experiencing the pain of being overextended.
Couples should also be accountable to each other in child rearing. Barbara and I found that we have different parenting styles because of our different backgrounds. As we draw on the parenting styles our parents modeled for us, we notice the good and the bad tendencies in each other. This enables us to complement one another and to work out what we believe is the best parenting style possible for our own children.
Of course it should go without saying that couples should be accountable to each other in the matter of sexual fidelity. Today, when men and women often work closely together in the business world, this becomes more vital than ever. It is even important in the context of church work.
As you and your mate face continuing pressures and stress, it's best to handle life in duet, not solo. Your mate can detect blind spots that you are missing. This type of mutual submission promotes healthy oneness as you interact and depend on each other.
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