None of the other Ten Commandments has a promise attached to it. But how will it "be well with you" when you honor your parents? I believe one profound reason is that it helps you finish the process of growing into adulthood. A part of maturing as an adult is the growing realization and conviction that you now share with your parents the responsibility for the relationship.
For most of your first 18 to 20 years of life, your relationship with your parents could be compared to a one-way street. She nursed you and changed your diapers; he walked the floor with you at 2:00 A.M. She taught you how to walk; he taught you how to ride a bike. The "traffic" of love generally flowed in one direction: From them to you, and it probably remained that way through high school and college.
The problem with some parent-child relationships, however, is they continue looking like one-way streets even when the child is in his 30s and 40s. And then you begin hearing those famous words: "My parents don't treat me like an adult."
Diane lived in the same town as her mother, but it all seemed so strained and shallow. "She still treated me and my other siblings a lot like kids," she said, "I felt a lack of respect."
Her feelings began to change shortly after she heard the idea of writing a written document, a tribute, for her parents. She spent time remembering the good things they had done for her, and slowly her perspective changed.
To Diane's surprise, her mother immediately broke down in tears as she read the tribute. "I think part of the problem was she didn't feel any respect and appreciation from her kids."
The tribute allowed Diane and her mother to set aside their arguments and begin building their relationship. "I felt like I was more on Mom's level. I was able to relate to her more. It was sort of a rite of passage."
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Print
Free Newsletters
