May 17
The Parable of the Porcupines Matthew 16:25
For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it.
Perhaps you've heard the story of the two porcupines freezing in the winter cold. Shivering in the frigid air, the two porcupines move closer together to share body heat and warmth. But then their sharp spines and quills prick each other painfully and they move apart, victims once more of the bitter cold around them. Soon they feel they must come together once more, or freeze to death. But their quills cause too much pain and they part again. Family members suffer from the cold of isolation, too-and they learn of the pain of being close to someone with quills. We desperately need to learn how to live with the barbs that are part of coming together in oneness.
C. S. Lewis describes the urgency of learning this lesson:
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung, possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
Intimacy extracts a price. The closer I get to Barbara, the more she becomes aware of who I really am. The more transparent we become, the greater the possibility that she will reject me. But if both of us are committed to each other despite our quills-if we are willing, as Jesus said, to lose our lives instead of saving them-intimacy awaits us.
Prayer: Ask God for openness and intimacy in your family that connects one another's hearts and creates a deep sense of belonging.
Discuss: On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you rate the level of intimacy in your marriage?
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